Are You A Feminist That Has Accepted Defeat?


So when we write something, we are supposed to write about what we know or have experienced. So that’s why I write about women. Apparently, I don’t qualify as a girl anymore. Not even a ‘young lady’. When someone says those immortal words to you- “do you mind if I ask how old you are?”, you’re shoved on to the Societal Doom Train to Heapsville where everyone gets a seat because your dodgy knees cant take the speed. And I’m only bloody 29.

As women, we are told when we can’t wear a skirt above the knee caps-nay-shins- anymore, when we can’t be overtly sexual anymore and when we can’t go to nightclubs anymore. Society says “you have had you’re fun and now your window is closed. Locked. Bolted”. Then all of a sudden you’re expected to go all giddy at a powder blue cashmere knit.

You’ve either thought it or seen it. A grown woman thinking that a young guy is hot. This makes them a ‘cougar’, a preditor. An older woman wearing a tight short outfit. This makes them ‘desperate’. An older woman in a nightclub throwing shapes. This makes them a ‘joke’.


Why?? Because society has shaped what men should desire. It’s what makes mass money. Then in turn, society has shaped women to feel the need to be desirable to men. Again, mass money. Society basically had one of those cassettes playing into the ears of guys every night while they sleep, playing the mantra a bit like this….


“Right lads, you see those wobbly fatty things on a female chest that are just used to feed their offspring? Well they are well hot from now on. I know no one was bothered about them years ago, but from now, they’re all the rage. Particularly if an invasive and expensive surgery has taken place so that the female has put their life savings and life at risk just to please you. Oh, and also, you know how hair has no other use than to keep your scalp warm, well that is well hot now too. Especially if it has had a painful expensive bleach. But you see that practical hair we have on the bodies, they can’t have that under any circumstances. Oh yeah, and you know how our feet have evolved over a shed ton of years to help us to walk, run and generally live with greater ease… well, women should put theirs in an ill fitting contraption with a dangerous spike. This is what we like now, us real guys right??”


Its so obvious it’s almost laughable. I mean, just a couple of centuries ago, it was considered sexy to have extra weight. These were the pin up women. But for the same reason as today. Money. They had the money to buy excess food. Delicious food was something not everyone had access to. Therefore, society said, “ok everyone, listen up. These are the ones spending the money so we will make them the hotties. This will make the previously content women do everything they can to spend money on food to be a hottie too. And natch, the men want a hot woman if they want to add to their stature. Sorted.”


I once went to the Amsterdam Sex Museum to see the changing desires of men over the years and the changing appearance of women. It was ludicrous. It appeared that men were happy with a flash of ankle as their porn. For the same reason as above, selling smaller clothing would mean less material and therefore less worth. Buying a huge billowing garment from foot to finger tip and chin meant a more expensive garment that only the elite could afford. The women are ‘told’ (via the cassette playing the matras whilst you sleep) that this expensive garment is well sexy. The men are told, “see that massive dress, I know it doesn’t look all that spine tinglingly ravishing, but we can assure you that it definitely is and that only the best guys are into this. Then if they flash just the ankle, well, you’ll be well chuffed”.


It’s an endless cycle.

1. Society demands money and power.

2. Companies oblige by thinking up new ways to make money from us.

3. Society tells us that we need to by this stuff from the companies if we want to be hot ie a desired part of society.

4. We do it. Start from point 1 again.

5. And repeat to infinity.


I think the reason why there is a cut-off point of women being societally desirable (generally speaking of course, not my personal view) is because, like anything, people want to be a part of an elite club. Society can’t open up this ‘hot club’ up to everyone because it won’t be ‘elite’ anymore and people won’t be prepared to invest their money in it in the same way. If you want to join a fancy golf club, you have to be minted and be prepare to pay a fortune to be a part of that elite golf club. It kills me that women are treated differently as they get older for no other reason than society making money.


How often do you hear older people say to young ones, “go for it, go and do everything you can, it’s too late for me”. It sounds melodramatic but they have a good point. Many sections of society are closed off to you when you’re no longer as societally desirable. And for those that do break through, it’s always a statement or a story that gives hope rather than it just being the norm.


You know what is really funny? I am sitting here with two great big implants jutting from my chest, a fixed nose, Rylan-style veneers, fake tan, a crop top, freshly highlighted hair, shaved legs, nail varnish, fancy make up, expensive candles and a pair of Louboutins and Gabanna heels on my shelf in front of me. And a desire for an inhumanely sized butt. Well everyone likes them now. Why wouldn’t I think this?


This is a tiny part of it. God knows what the full extent has been. The worst thing is, I won’t stop. If you can’t beat ‘em! Society is such a powerful force. Right, when I say the word ‘Feminist’, what comes to mind straight away? It kills me to say it but I think of a woman, very hairy, miserable, wearing a large t shirt and bearing 17 cats. One is on her head. What a terrible thought. I wonder why I think like this? I think it’s because society has dragged them through the mill. Because they refuse to be a part of this ungodly, unethical world they are given this derogatory tag. I like to think that a true feminist is happy and full on smug that they haven’t been dragged into this whole scam. True power of being is that.


I saw recently a magazine cover with Emma Watson as the cover girl with the headline stating that she is a feminist. It pissed me off a bit actually. I mean, this magazine is PLASTERED with adverts trying to sell you shit to make you more attractive. And she got paid to promote them. Emma was also wearing designer clobber and make up. I think we kid ourselves when we say that make up is just for us. Is it ‘eck as like. I love make-up. But only because its been thrust in my face as a magical cure to our otherwise ailing features for years. And we need to have a good face of we want to get through life unscathed apparently. If this society had taken a different route to the one it has, or if it was a world of just women, i doubt make-up would even exist. So no Emma, I don’t know if I see you as a feminist.


So because I have succumbed to this way of the world knowingly with me mammoth 1.6kg implants and my MAC addiction, “I am a feminist that has accepted defeat”. Yeah, it’s my own quote. I googled it ages ago and no one else has said it yet haha. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too scared to abandon the societal norm now that it is my comfort blanket or if I don’t want to bite the hand that feeds me. Either way, I am a feminist that is destined never to graduate and get my qualification.


As a Pole Dance studio owner of Pole Physique, I think that this is a prime example of why women don’t join a pole class. They believe that they’re too old to join a young, beautiful girls game. They’d be a joke. To this I would say, a pole class is a society all on it’s own with completely different rules. In a pole class, we are all equally valued and respected. No exceptions.

What about you? I honestly would love to hear what other people think about this.

One Comment

  • Audrey says:

    I’m so glad that I’m not the only person seeing this! For so long I’ve seen various things (nights out, shops etc) geared towards a specific age window of society, and it made me sad that so many above said age window think they are too old. You’re only as old as you feel and if you want to do something/wear something/ be something then you should go for it! Start a revolution! :)

Leave a Reply