Let us not pretend that we are all constantly kick ass pole dancers. We have done, still do and will vigorously continue to fall victim to most or all (probably all) of these embarrassing pole confessions.
Each listed confession that you can admit to below is worth one point. There are good bonus points available too for extra red faced moments.
Exposed at least one of your labia whilst being spotted (1 point).
Add 3 points for both.
Trumped whilst being spotted (1 point).
Add 3 points if it was directly in line with your spotters mouth/nasal area.
Had to explain that the groin growth is rife due to an upcoming wax appointment (1 point).
Been told your hands feel like they should belong to a builder when making palm to palm contact (1 point).
Add 2 points if they started the statement with, “ewwww”.
Slightly (excessively) teared the arm hole stitching when trying new tops on (1 point).
Add 3 points if the sales assistant was present.
Pretty sure you caused your instructor pain when they stroked your spiky leg fuzz to help you into a trick (1 point).
Add 5 points if their hand got lost.
Inserted some part of your body into some part of your instructors body during a trick (1 point).
I had a student insert a whole big toe into my mouth once. A whole big toe.
Cried actual tears like a big ol’ baby in pole-trick-nemesis frustration in front of the whole class (1 point).
Add 2 points if you also stamped.
Damaged studio equipment with your pole heels, arse, falling etc (1 point).
I had a student penetrate through the dressing room wall once with her arse, God bless her.
Pretty sure you caused physical pain to your instructor during a trick (1 point).
Add 3 points if it brought them to tears.
WHAT YOUR SCORES SAY ABOUT YOU….
No one believes you.
You are the average pole embarrassment. Congratulations.
You either have been poling for a long time (like 14 years) to tick so many confessions, or you need to get you and your instructor bubble wrap. I’m sure iTac will still work on plastic.
Any Confessions I have missed out? Let me and the whole world know. C’mon, it makes us all feel better 😉